BHG Articles

Back in my practice days I saw many individuals who were suffering the effects of grief and loss after having lost a close loved one. This could include a friend, spouse, child, partner, parent or other relative who had passed on suddenly due to illness or accident. Occasionally I was presented with a couple where one of them had recently received a terminal illness diagnosis and only had months to live. All of these situations were particularly traumatic in their own way.

The stages of Death and Dying evolved by Elizabeth Kubler-Ross are often mis-identified as The Stages of Grief Recovery. In her schema, she came up with 1) denial, 2) anger, 3) bargaining, 4) depression and 5) acceptance as reactions to a diagnosis of terminal illness. Her stages only make sense when considered against that backdrop. As such, this configuration has nothing to do with the stages of grief recovery.

When we enter bereavement we are aware of its beginning, but we cannot anticipate how long it will take to reach the end. At this point the consolidation of appropriate helping resources will dictate how long bereavement recovery can take. Your feelings, such as sadness, anxiety or depression, need to be accepted and worked through or else recovery efforts can be adversely affected.

To successfully manage your grief recovery you will need a straightforward program that addresses all aspects of the experience of major loss. The suffering of intense physical and emotional reactions will require specific actions on your part to counteract their effects and help you heal. Grief recovery can proceed along a variety of lines as long as they address all of its important requirements.

In the same way that no two persons fingerprints are the same, no two people experience grief in the same way. The issue is an extremely complex and unique one, - and when it comes to grieving the loss of a loved one, the grief experienced is as complex and unique as the relationship you had with that person. It could be described as a deeply personal experience.

When you lose a loved one, nothing comes easy. The grief process if a very long and involved process that is different for everybody and can be dangerous if it is not dealt with properly. Grief that is ignored or neglected has the potential to turn into feelings of depression, confusion, disillusion and even thoughts of suicide. It is very important for people who have recently lost a loved one to have the support they need to make it through the grieving process in a healthy and safe way. Everyone has had different experiences with this natural part of human life.

Many people make the assumption that when someone has suffered the loss of a relative or close friend, it is better to leave them to grieve alone. The reason for this is that they believe that talking about the person after the funeral has passed will bring back more grief, and make the person feel uncomfortable, or upset them by saying something wrong. This is not usually the case though, and this approach can avoid asking the questions which the bereaved actually want to hear. These people need to cry and become upset, as it is all part of the healing process.

When an individual loses somebody who is essential to their well being, they go through the process of mourning because this assists the person to accept and comprehend their loss. It in addition helps them to accept with the loss of the loved one, and afterwards a time of grief, it is at that time they will be in a position to move forward and commence living and loving life once more. When a death occurs, even if it’s expected, particularly coming from a long sickness, you may still experience a variety feelings. There is frequently self-denial, mental rejection, confusion, outrage, sorrow, yearning, anger, humiliation, desperation, even guilt. Feeling these feelings is quite typical.

As the grieving process continues and time goes by, the various holiday seasons will inevitably approach. These can be extremely difficult times of grieving families, as it is a painful reminder that there will be one much-loved family member who wont be celebrating this time around. But by taking a few steps in your festivities to remember the loved one who has passed on, you can create new traditions, honor and remember the person, and help alleviate some of the pain. The main thing to remember is to do things at your own pace, and not to try and do too much straight away. Celebrate holidays in a way that works for your family as a unit. Here are some suggestions of how you can include your departed loves ones in your holiday celebrations:

Many of lifes anniversaries can bring us great joy. However, after the loss of a loved one these times can also become sad events, as the anniversary of their death casts our memories back on the pain felt when they passed away. A loss of someone close to us can take a long time to heal, and as a result, a small gathering of family and close friends may be the best way of marking this significant anniversary. This means you can take comfort in the people you trust the most, and at the same time pay respects to the one you have lost.